30

When Joel and I were married, we couldn’t take a honeymoon – I was still breastfeeding our five-month-old at the time. We had one night, so we decided to blow a honeymoon’s worth of cash on hiring the best hotel room available in Melbourne for that night. It was the “Victorian Suite” at the Windsor Hotel, and it was bigger than our house. We had to laugh at ourselves when we saw the three bedrooms, dining table to seat 20 people, antiques and artworks. Also the next morning when we realised Joel hadn’t brought any fresh clothes and would have to wear his wedding suit to breakfast.

Having got pregnant with Rufus, oh, three weeks into our relationship has meant that our holidays together have been very limited. I.e., I can name them all – a weekend in Merrijig, another in Sydney, another in Lorne, and our ridiculously opulent “honeymoon night”. When you put it that way, our policy of blowing stacks of cash on expensive short trips when the chance arises isn’t quite as arrogant as it otherwise seems.

Our weekend in Macau for my 30th birthdya was even more than I’d hoped for. We stayed in the Pousada De Sao Tiago, which is a hotel in a fort built in 1629. Imagine the history buff inside me weeping with joy to walk in and see the original stone stairs leading to our suite…

..which was stupendously luxurious, with Portuguese linen, a rainshower bigger than the wheel of a car, and so many high-end toiletries I could barely carry my bag down the stairs after I’d knicked them all. Also, a mother-of-pearl bathroom that even made the bidet look classy. And a very good-looking husband.

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The glorious pollution-enhanced sunset on the first evening. I wish I took a photo (probably not as much as you…) of the intricately black-and-white tiled balcony.
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It was only 5pm when we settled in to watch the preliminary final from home, which meant we were both incredibly smashed by 6pm.
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Afterwards, we had one of the best dinners of our life at the hotel restaurant. There was an international fireworks competition that night in Macau, so the restaurant had a special “Fireworks” tasting menu on offer. The fireworks turned out to be shit but the food was explosively good. Here is Joel dying on the grass outside the hotel after consuming the whole 12th plate of the meal, which was pretty much half a pig.
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With the encouragement of the advertising literature I’d read online and on the ferry on the way over to Macau, my expectation for the fireworks was soaring. I envisioned a blinding pyrotechnic display to herald in my birthday metaphorically. Instead there were six minutes of flaccid poppers fizzling 5m in the air.
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We lay on the grass and laughed at each other like two stuffed idiots who’d been drinking since 5pm.
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Sit tight for further self-fellation the next day…

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Nadiah says:

    “so many high-end toiletries I could barely carry my bag down the stairs after Iā€™d knicked them all”

    lol, you’re a classic.

  2. jadeluxe says:

    We paid for them, right…?
    Also, someone at my work who travels a lot advised me next time to knick all the toiletries on the first day – then they get replenished every day and you get HEAPS! šŸ˜‰

  3. Nadiah says:

    Oh absolutely. And you know that if you leave them behind, they’ll just throw the half-used bottles out, whereas if we take them we can always find some use for the empty bottles for future travelling trips or to just keep little things in.

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