Our desperate Christmas plight

Our helper’s going back to the Philippines this week for Christmas, which is pretty inconvenient. I mean she hasn’t seen her four daughters for months – but we haven’t done any grocery shopping, cooking, washing and cleaning for ourselves in a year! PRETTY irresponsible for her to leave us to our own devices. We’ve got KIDS for God’s sake. I don’t know where half the stuff is stored in my own kitchen. I don’t even know how to turn on the washing machine! To give us all a fighting chance at surviving, we’ve been slowly implementing a plan to help us cope with actually doing it all ourselves for two weeks.

It’s going to be bollocks.

Phase I of the plan involves taking the kids’ little table outside every day and dumping craft supplies on it, then relaxing on a deck chair while they do “free art”. This both nurtures their creativity in a safe environment, and allows me to snooze while supervising. The outdoors locale contains the mess to a very tiny area (our very tiny yard), saving me from having to clean up too much inside. I’m not used to it now. I don’t even know if I remember how to. Also, the outside is nearly all tiled, so I’ll just be able to hose it down. I do remember how to use the hose. I think.

A trial run last weekend on MaryJane’s day off. This was quite a way into our practice sessions; you can see I’ve actually left Basil Leaf to supervise at this point while I was inside replenishing my iced tea.
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Quinn and Isabella from down the road have been joining some of our drills. Their parents will also be helperless this festive season.
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At lunch they can frolic in the great outdoors (where “great” means the three square metres of grass at our front fence). Physical education and geography combined!
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And what’s this, a magnifying glass? There’s even science! Safe, creative, clean AND educational! Nominations for Mother of the Year accepted modestly.
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Will these measures get us through the fortnight?

In case they don’t, my last safeguard will be the personal Advent calendar I’m going to construct tomorrow. It’s going to be called ‘The 12 Days of No Help’ and behind each little door will be a couple of Panadeine Fortes*.

*Phenergan capsules.

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Astrid says:

    I would like to say that I feel for you, but no. I am sure I will enjoy reading about how you survived the time. 🙂

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