I got this email recently featuring pictures of a week’s worth of food for different families around the world. It was so interesting, I decided to appropriate it for further educated analysis.
Japan: The Ukita family of Kodaira City
Food expenditure for one week: 37,699 Yen or AU$464
A lot of seafood here – good for my tastebuds, bad for my alarmist over-caution about mercury poisoning. There was a time last year where my hair was falling out. The internet tells me it’s because I eat too many cans of tuna. The family in the picture all have luxuriant heads of hair though, so what does that say about diagnosing yourself online? Also about the qualitative comparison between fishing regions? Japanese seafood has all had the bejesus irradiated out of it, hasn’t it? But these guys sure aren’t getting their follicular magnificence from their one watermelon and sad packet of bananas. Maybe there’s something to be said for eating fish directly from toxic waterways. I should pass the good news on to the people who drive into our village and catch manky little creatures from our dribbling creek after sundown each night.
Italy: The Manzo family of Sicily
Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 Euros or AU$265.37
Excessive bread consumption, piles of fruit, and some bottles of ready-made pasta sauce. Who can really say with 100% confidence that this isn’t the King family of Sai Kung? (Answer: it’s not. Anyone who knows us knows we would never resort to drinking Pepsi, even in the severest of Coke droughts).
Germany: The Melander family of Bargteheide
Food expenditure for one week: 375.39 Euros or AU$465.07
Six-sevenths of this family’s intake is milk, juice and carbonated water. When they’re not in a state of extreme liquid-bloat precluding the ingestion of food, anything goes, as long as it’s from a deli, marinated, processed and pickled. I can’t recommend this diet. Look at them. The adults and the young kid are as sullen as the teenager. CAN’T…SMILE…DIGESTING…
United States : The Revis family of North Carolina
Food expenditure for one week: US$341.98 or AU$326.40
The only fresh food in this picture is a couple of tomatoes and two bunches of grapes. Can four adults survive a week with so little fresh food? What, do they do Healthy Lunch Day and each eat half a tomato and five grapes each? Shit’s going to take a pizza and two packets of chips to burn off. You know that right.
Mexico: The Casales family of Cuernavaca
Food expenditure for one week: 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or AU$138.09
These guys all look pretty happy. Is it because they wash down bread rolls all week with 54 bottles of Coke, followed by big piles of tasty fruit? Or because their house is so damn sweet, with the little tin knick-knackery and the magical window? This is the diet that most closely resembles ours. And the children which most closely resembles Rufus. Though we don’t look much like the parents. Yet…? An ominous portent? Fuck.
Poland: The Sobczynscy family of Konstancin-Jeziorna
Food expenditure for one week: 582.48 Zlotys or AU$174.27
There’s a number of problems I can see here:
1. The lady is holding a bouquet of lollipops.
2. Fair enough, you would probably go hog-wild and get heavily invested in unique food styling if you lived with your in-laws too.
3. There’s nothing to really make a meal out of.
4. They eat dog food. And cat food too.
But SWEET TABLECLOTH.
Egypt: The Ahmed family of Cairo
Food expenditure for one week: 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or AU$60.53
This is a very appealing week of food. You just know they sit down and feast every night on a proper cook-up until completely sated, and that guy in the white headgear is large in charge carving up those odd white vegetables with his quillion dagger.
Ecuador: The Ayme family of Tingo
Food expenditure for one week: US$31.55 or AU$30.20
Although these Tingolese appear to live inside a wood-fired oven, their diet is apparently entirely vegetarian, and largely constituted of bananas, plantains and yams. They must have some intense starch highs. In fact I think they’re having one right now. “Mate, nice Coogi.” “Shut up arsehole. At least my mum isn’t wearing a fedora inside a brick furnace. Oh wait yes she is.”
Bhutan: The Namgay family of Shingkhey Village
Food expenditure for one week: 224.93 ngultrum or AU$4.03
The family called Namgay
From the village called Shingkhey
They ate a variety
of green leafy veg
And they lived in a sweet gold temple.
Chad: The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp
Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA Francs or AU$1.29
It’s incomprehensibly sad, naturally. I wonder if they give double or triple rations to the mum in the hope that she can breastfeed the younger kids until they’re at least 5? Also I’d love to know what’s in all the little bags at the front. And how the right-hand dude got his teeth so shiny.
Of course a logical coda would be to add a picture of what we eat for a week. That’s pretty hard to do because we don’t buy all our food on one day (see: previously lamented galley-sized kitchen). Nor do we have a food stylist to arrange foodstuffs all around the loungeroom. I particularly liked the Polish joint above with the TV festooned with breadsticks. I do know we spend too many thousands of Hong Kong dollars on food – but, UPSHOT, the more you spend, the more stickers you get; the more stickers you get, the more free Angry Birds soft toys you can acquire! HOLLA!